Sunday, 15 May 2011

A little wondering.

In trying to be more like 'you', 'yourself'...could you be less like yourself? In trying to find a state in which you are completely comfortable, could you actually be moving further away from your identity...?

I've just been thinking a lot about image recently - not in a vain way - just pondering the thought. I guess I've been doing the stereotypical 'finding yourself at University'/'just broke up with your boyfriend' thing.

The more I live, the more questions I ask, and the more I realise that I'll never know the answers...because there aren't any! Life is so fluid.

I'm playing at a gig tonight - two songs - Suzanne Vega's 'Luka' - and Fisher's 'I Will Love You'. I'm playing with a guitarist and string players on 'Luka' and just with a pianist on 'I Will Love You.' I'm just holding the mic and singing. I'm rather looking forward to it. It'll be a new experience...and one where I'll be more open to expressing myself...no hiding behind Lady this time. I wonder how I'll go...feeling quite strange at the moment.

Mood = floaty/intense. They don't quite go.

6 comments:

Larry said...

You will do just fine! Yes, life is a time of discovery. It is also a time to make a choice that will be eternal in nature. One that every person must make. And yes, there are indeed answers available to all questions, for all who choose to receive them.

Wish I could see/hear the performance. 'I Will Love You' is so very special to me. Your version, that is. :) Have fun!

mercury said...

Are we really do stereotypical things? I don't think so. We have to go throught this circles of asking and finding and we'll find out so many things about the world and ourselves. It's a fascinating journey. The main purpose for me is to get a distance to the common thinking and feeling patterns, which cannot be achieved by drugs. I think, we mostly live a conformistic dream, sniffing for the expectations of others, which makes us sick.
Some years ago I started a new attempt to find myself, with the help of music and literature and I started to write poems. I have to admit, that you have been my finest teacher.

David Ruben said...

Questions and answers, deep stuff. Yes there are some answers to some questions, but what one also comes to realise is that most answers are partial and pave the way for more questions: either deeper into a topic or broadening outwards. Then of course some questions have no answers.

As you observed some time ago "When you are young, the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are big... As you get older the pieces get smaller and.... the picture is a lot more intricate and detailed." So to answer your rhetorical question "Sometimes I wish I was an adult... When do you start feeling like an adult?" the hopeful answer is "never quite" - keep asking the questions and add to the richness of the picture of life :-)

mercury said...

What I discovered on my journey and see more and more clearly: a huge actionism around me. Everybody is doing more and more things, incorporating others in these issues and being incorporated by others. On the other hand we are filled up with more and more information, so we are occupied and our sight gets blurred. And merely nobody calls it into question. Digging deeper, I found this monster of justification. Everybody seems to be justified in doing much, the more the better. There seems to be a tacit consent in this issue. The result is a corrosion of sense, a spooky senselessness.

mercury said...

Isn't establishing identity a strange tightrope walk between being made an object by others and not being excluded and stigmatized because of personal characteristics in an always changing and expanding environment?

mercury said...

...aber dabei verlieren wir uns und sterben auf Raten.Yep!!!